288.05 km

Perjalanan dari Hamburg ke Berlin memakan waktu sekitar 3 jam. Sebenernya gue udah download dua episode “Black Mirror” season 2 buat nemenin perjalanan gue di bus ini, tapi gue udah menahan keinginan nulis dari lama karena gue nggak bisa konsentrasi kalau lagi sama orang. Sebenernya di bus ada banyak penumpang sih, so I’m technically alone. But we are here minding our own business and don’t have to talk to each other.

I am finally alone.

What should I talk about now? Ah iya, siang tadi gue dapet komen di Instagram mengenai how broke a person is and that was the reason traveling is not an easy thing for her. Let’s talk about that.

If you ask me, I am broke, too. Do I come from a wealthy family? No. Kalau kalian baca buku Rentang Kisah, mungkin kalian tau bokap gue harus pergi dan tinggal jauh dari keluarga supaya kami bertiga (Emak, gue, dan Adek gue) bisa makan dan kerjaan Bapak gue juga bukan kerjaan fancy. That’s a sign that we are broke.

Lo juga bisa liat lah dari pakaian gue, tas gue, sepatu gue yang nggak ganti-ganti, dan hape gue yang baru ganti kalo ada yang ngasih gratisan.


“Ehm, Git. What about your Macbook Pro? That shit ain’t cheap.”

Yah, emak gue harus nyisihin uang tagihan buat beliin gue Macbook. Insha Allah laptop gue yang sekarang adalah laptop terakhir yang emak gue beliin buat gue. Amin.


That’s my family. Now let’s talk about this lady right here a.k.a me. Silahkan tanya apa aja yang pernah gue rasakan menjadi seorang hamba qismin. Kelaperan karena nasi abis? Sering. Nggak bisa ngambil duit karena rekening di bank minus? Sering. Nggak bisa bayar tagihan kuliah dan kena denda? Pernah. Nggak bisa bayar rumah dan kena denda? Sering.

So, what did I do back then? I worked. Gue kerja di cafe dan “dibego-begoin” bos, gue kerja di percetakan dan “dibego-begoin” kolega kerja. Kerja siang-malam tanpa duduk. Pulang-pulang badan nyeri dan cuma bisa gue pijet-pijet pake balsem. Dan hal tersebut bertahun-bertahun gue lakukan.

Sering tebersit di benak ini gimana susahnya duit dicari sampe gue harus direndahin sama orang. Mau minta ortu, Bapak gue nggak bisa ngirim banyak karena doi sakit-sakitan. Emak gue nggak punya penghasilan karena dia hanya ibu rumah tangga. Ditambah lagi gue stress kuliah Bachelor gue susah banget.

Begitulah hidup. Ternyata emang harus berjuang buat cari makan, cari ilmu, cari kenikmatan.

So if y’all assume I’m a rich kid, that offends me so much cause I’m not. I know exactly why I am not rich. I know exactly what my Mom and Dad (and myself) have to do to provide the life I have. And let me tell you, we have to work really really hard.

.........

Suatu hari gue dipecat sama salah satu tempat kerja gue karena satu hal. Langit rasa runtuh. Kayak disamber geledek di siang bolong. I cried and begged him to let me stay, but he refused. Why did I do that? Cause at that time I needed the money. My dad was sick and couldn’t go to the doctor. Not sick, sick. But his body did not let him to work as hard as he normally would. He had been doing that job for more than 10 years. Of course your body will scream and refuse to properly function. On top of that, he was freaking 54 years old.

Lo tau rasanya dapet telfon dari bos lo dan dia nyuruh gue untuk nggak usah dateng lagi ke tempat kerja tersebut? Lo tau rasanya dipecat padahal kerjaan itu adalah kerja terniat yang pernah gue lakukan? Lo tau rasanya dipecat di saat lo tau Babe lo yang jauh di sana—yang udah 10 tahun nggak lo liat lagi meringis kesakitan?


It was awful and I will never ever forget that.


Gue pun muter otak dan cari cara gimana gue bisa bantuin Bokap dan Nyokap. Gimana caranya gue bisa ada penghasilan, tapi gue tetep mau dapet pahala dari apa yang gue lakukan biar niat gue tetap lurus.

You know, if you’re poor, there is a possibility of you ngedzalimin orang lain hanya demi uang. Gue sering denger gimana orang “memeras” dan memanfaatkan orang lain dengan alasan dia adalah tulang punggung keluarga. I don’t want that. Gue nggak dididik dan dibesarkan di mana uang adalah segalanya. Nyokap gtue selalu bilang uang nggak dibawa mati, jadiin ibadah sebagai prioritas.

That’s when the magic happened. God listened and he showed me how to get the best of both worlds; nebar pahala dan dapet duit. That’s how I found YouTube (it’s a long story why I decided to jump on the vlogging bandwagon. But I am grateful I did, cause it feels good when you know you’re doing something positive and impactful. And on top of that you get paid, too)

So, what I learnt from my own experience was how important your intention is and having a pure heart. I’m not saying that my heart is pure (oh hell no). I am saying, I was really—and still trying to be really careful whenever I work on my video, whenever I work basically. Because I need to have pure heart without greed, without arrogance, without hate, without envy. I need to be nice to people and treat them kindly. And all of the blessings will come to you automatically. Be it money, kindhearted people, opportunities, pahala, these things will surround you.


Alhamdulillah my life has changed for a better now. Yah, walaupun buat beli sepatu sneakers baru juga masih mikir-mikir. Tapi paling nggak sekarang gue ada uang untuk makan, bayar rumah, dan bayar kuliah.

But I am scared. Kenikmatan itu juga ujian. Manusia bisa lengah. I don’t know how strong I can be. Hopefully I am gonna be okay.


For you guys my fellow qismin (lol jk), I know how hard it is not able to afford some things in life. You feel limited, can’t do what you love, what you want. I know how it feels like. Jangan lupa kita punya Allah. Kalau niat kita lurus dan hati kita bersih, insha Allah diberi jalan. Karena Allah sudah menjanjikan bahwa di setiap kesulitan pasti ada kemudahan.

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