by Gita Savitri Devi

1/27/2012

Menyemangati Diri


This is what a girl usually do in the middle of a night. Taking pictures while biting nails haha.
Sebenernya ini sambil belajar deutsch juga, tapi pause dikit.


Aloha... Gue tiba-tiba sedikit agak panik pas tau kalau banyak banget vocab jerman yang gue lupa. Di karenakan udah nggak pernah ngafalin lagi. Kesel gimana gitu, dulu usaha banget, terus dengan gampangnya mereka hilang dari memori gue. Nggak rela. Akhirnya baca-baca lagi, ngomong sendiri lagi, ngautis bawa-bawa buku kecil itu lagi. Fuh.

Baidewey, gue udah libur yeay. Alhamdulillah gue lulus semester 1 dengan nilai sebagai berikut :

  • Informatik : 2,3
  • Matematika : 2
  • Fisika : 1,7
  • Kimia : 1,3


Dengan rata-rata yang cuma 2, gue pun menyiapkan strategi baru untuk di terapkan di semester 2 kelak. Gue berharap strategi dibawah ini bukan hanya jadi wacana.
  1. Lebih aktif di kelas. Selama ini gue masih suka sungkan bertanya, sekarang nggak boleh.
  2. Belajar lebih giat lagi. Kalo bisa setiap hari ke perpus.
  3. Genjot di matematika, karena gue kurang banget di pelajaran itu.
  4. Harus mati-matian di English. Kalau English gue dapet 1, itu bisa ngangkat nilai rata-rata.
  5. Jangan anggep remeh informatik seperti yang gue lakuin kemaren.
  6. Target nilai rata-rata akhir 1,3
  7. No more weekend. Belajar, belajar, belajar!
  8. Bikin kelompok belajar sama temen-temen kelas
  9. Fokusin ke kimia
  10. Tetep pelajarin fisika!
Semangat, Git. Inget Ziel lo sekarang adalah di terima di Kimia TU Berlin! Gue yakin lo bisa. Lo udah usaha, tapi sekarang harus lebih keras lagi usahanya. Jangan males-malesan! Inget, jangan sampe lo nyesel di belakang.
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1/26/2012

It's 8.07 pm

20 years trying to put all things together. So I can get a perfect life. Studying so hard to be the best for myself and to create my future that I've been dreaming of. Because I know, people will never support me nor understand what I'm doing. They just keep judging and tell me that I'm not good enough. They told me that I'm not a good kid, because I'm not as good as they want. I keep telling lies, so I could get your appreciation. He told me I'm not a good girlfriend, because I'm not the right person to talk to, I'm not a good advisor you said. I'm childish, selfish, and a hater. You said I'm a hater. I have my own reason to hate. What a terrible life I've been through, you can't even imagine how much pain deep inside my heart. I never told anyone, because no one cares. I might be strong outside, but you don't know what I do every time I'm alone. Staring at numbers, formulas, science thingy. Thinking about how can I change my life. Wondering what I am actually good at. I thought I had someone. But I just found out I don't. And it feels suck. Every day wondering what is wrong with me. Am I the one to blame? Is it me or you guys suck? What the hell is wrong with you? Why can't I be free? Why can't I be needed and trusted? Why am I always lonely somehow? Stop thinking that I'm strong. I'm not. I'm definitely not. I wanna feel what love really is. I never felt that before. Or maybe I'm not sensitive enough to feel it?
Right, this is my fault. I keep telling myself that everything is gonna be okay. I keep telling you I'm okay. I'm not fucking okay and I will never be okay.
And I hate knowing that you are around me, but you're doing nothing. You're not even trying to help.
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